Side-Comments Adoptive Parents Don’t Want To Hear
Adoption is not for the faint of heart. No matter who you are in the adoption triangle – birth parent, child, or adoptive parent – the prospect of giving up a child, adopting a child, or being the child given away carries enormous implications for all the individuals and relationships!!
A successful adoption process usually comes with mixed emotions for the adoptive parents; the new addition has brought excitement, celebration, joy, peace and relief to the family. However many times, adoption also causes some agitations and aggravation — mainly because a lot of people make rash, rude and insensitive comments. While some inquiries are hidden under good intentions, others are openly insulting and hateful.
Epic fail 😦 Don’t think, don’t ask, don’t say.
Well, I guess it’s best to keep those thoughts to yourself. Especially when the parents did not ask for your opinion.
Below are some of the side comments adoptive parents do not want to hear.
“Where did he come from?”
You definitely need to take classes on reproduction. You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much
“What kind of a person would give up such a beautiful, sweet child?” #CluckingTongue 😦
How rude! That is so none of your business! #ClickingTongueBack
“Too bad you couldn’t have your own child”
Gosh! Where are your manners?
“So which one is yours?”
What is wrong with you? All of them actually.
“Are they real sisters?”
Well, they are not imaginary sisters!
“He’s so ‘different’ from the rest of the family.”
Actually, he took after my great-grandfather. I’m not sure you’ve met him.
“Did she cost a lot?”
Really? Actually she’s from the sales section. But if you really need to know this, Google it.
“Hopefully now you can have your own”
Yes, because that is the reason we decided to adopt! I don’t know that adoption is now a fertility treatment #AngryFace
“Is it difficult to love a child who isn’t your own?”
He is my child. And he is “my own”. And I love him so much!
“How are you going to tell her?”
Well, We’ll probably just post it on her Facebook page
“That’s such a good thing you did”
I didn’t realize Adoption was Charity. I’m really hoping this gets me some karma points.
“Her ‘real’ mother was probably a prostitute”.
I’m her “real” mother, and so far as I can recall, I have never been a prostitute.
“He’s such a lucky child”
Duh! He’s just as blessed as any child in a happy loving home. And we are so blessed to have him.
“I could never love someone who doesn’t share my DNA”
I’m sorry your heart is so limited. And I’m truly sorry for your spouse. The last time I checked you guys were not related.
“What an easy way to have a baby”
Seriously? Please explain the ‘easy’ part. If you call years of waiting and piles of paperwork easy, then yeah, piece of cake!
“We’ve always wanted to adopt. But first we are going to have a few of our own.”
You can not be serious!
“I totally know what you’re going through. I adopted a dog once.”
Really? Well, it’s not the same. I promise.
“I’ve heard about an adopted kid who abused his siblings, never hugged his parents, and set fire to the cat, retarded and totally messed up”
Why don’t you just try to be positive, for once in your life?
“You wouldn’t understand. You’re not a real mom”
…now, that’s awkward
Avoid an awkward situation and keep these comments from slipping out of your mouth.